Yellow Car
by Kuramastrass
Summary: By some miracle the Cullens convince Bella to go on a camping trip. But the trip takes a very strange but hilarious turn when Bella accidentally introduces the vampires to a game known as yellow car, in which the losing players must remove their clothes!


**Wow. Okay, so I was really bored and desperate one day, and I wrote this little one-shot. This is my third attempt at a real Twilight fic.... though you'll notice it's the only one up. (The Five People that Love Bella doesn't count.)**

**I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't own Twilight.**

**Oh, yeah. I also don't own any of the rights to the movie _RV_, though I own a copy on DVD, or Robin Williams. Um, while we're at it, I also don't own the game yellow car (though I have no idea who _does_.)**

**Yes, yellow car is a real game. It is played the way Bella describes. Though my friends and I play it without the other part. We yell out "yellow car" just for the sake of being obnoxious. Why yellow? Because it's an obnoxious color.**

**And Zak Celton is a friend of Bella's from home. Phoenix. That home. He's like the Mike Newton of Arizona. He was sorta Bella's friend. She didn't talk to him much.**

**Hmm... I think that's about it.**

**Oh, yeah, if you guys could tell me on how I did with Bella's voice, that'd be great. Thanks.**

**Um, and oh, yeah. If you're wondering about the timeline, I'd say it takes place about... two days after the end of Eclipse.**

**So, enjoy my stupid little one-shot, "Yellow Car"! Reviews are awesome and highly appreciated!**

"How did you convince me to go camping, again?" I asked as I threw some clothes into a suitcase.

Edward chuckled throatily, delicately picking up one of my shirts and folding it neatly before putting it gently back in the suitcase. "You realized that you could spend time with me away from your father."

He smiled, remembering how easy it had been to convince me with that one reason.

"Oh, yeah," I mumbled, throwing in some more clothes.

"Don't you have _any_ apparel suitable for camping?" I turned and looked at my vampire-boyfriend's face. He was looking at my clothes with disgust.

"I just _work_ at Newton's," I informed him. "I don't _shop_ there."

"They'd be more than happy to have another customer."

"I don't plan on doing much hiking."

"I'll carry you."

I finally finished packing and Edward grabbed my suitcase to take to his Volvo. "Bye, Dad!" I called out as I ran down the stairs.

"Have fun." He came to his bedroom door and turned to Edward, who was still at the top of the stairs. "First you get her to like baseball, and then you convince her to go camping. You're turning my daughter into a real all-American girl," he joked.

"I try, sir," he replied, but not without a smile in his voice.

I was glad that they were on civil, speaking terms again, but I felt offended. I _hurmph_-ed loudly and stormed out the front door.

Edward was right behind me after a minute. "Was that necessary?" he asked me.

"Yes."

He sighed, then he went to put my suitcase in the trunk of his Volvo.

I climbed into the passenger seat and waved at Charlie, who had come to the front window in the kitchen. I don't think he saw me through the tint of the windshield, though.

Edward got in the driver's seat and started the car. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to go to Newton's? They're open."

"Let's just get this over with," I sighed.

"Get this over with? Bella, this will be _fun_." He sounded hurt.

"Right." I rolled my eyes.

He rolled his eyes, too, letting us ride the rest of the way in silence.

- -

The first thing I noticed was that there was something different about the clearing they called a front yard. There was a huge wall of color where there once had been nothing.

Then I recognized what it was. I couldn't believe it.

"Holy _crow_!" I yelled as the car gently slid to a stop. "How much did you _spend_ on that?"

I knew that money didn't mean anything to any of the Cullens – it was just something that accumulated with infinite time. But still, a brand-new RV was a little _much_. Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned tents?

"Calm down, Bella." He rolled his eyes again. "We didn't _buy_ it. We _rented_ it."

I got out of the car and stood in the grass, staring up at it. "Rented it," I echoed.

He followed me out and stood beside me. "Yes. It doesn't fit in the garage, anyway." He laughed. "Believe me, Emmett tried."

I imagined that _he_ had tried, too – I had no doubt that he would also enjoy driving something this big, even if it wasn't as fast as the Volvo.

Suddenly, I was giggling. "This reminds me of the movie _RV_. Have you seen it?"

"No."

"You should. It's funny. Robin Williams is in it." I started giggling again. "They called their RV the _Big Rolling Turd_."

He started chuckling, though I wasn't sure if it was at me or at the name of the RV.

We walked into the garage to get the others, finish packing, and say goodbye to Carlisle and Esme. It was empty – Emmett probably made everyone move out so he could try to fit the RV.

Then I saw Alice's Porsche sitting in the grass, sparkling in the sun. And I blurted out, "Oh, yellow car."

And instantly I started to blush.

Of _all_ the times I'd seen Alice's car, why did I have to think of that _now_?

"Bella?" Edward's voice called back from the house. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, but he came back anyway.

"Please. Tell me. What is it?"

"You're happier not knowing," I answered, but I instantly regretted it. As much as I didn't want to tell him, if I was anyone else, he'd already know.

It drove him completely insane, not being able to hear my thoughts. I knew I should try to be a little more cooperative.

I sighed. "I saw Alice's Porsche, and I said _yellow car_. That's it." I was wondering if he'd buy that when I involuntarily blushed again, giving myself away.

Stupid game! If I ever saw Zak Celton again, I would kill him.

"And?"

I shook my head.

"I'm just going to have to tamper with your memory again, then." He smiled my favorite crooked smile. Before I knew it, I was pinned – but not uncomfortably – up against the wall of the garage, and Edward was kissing me.

Finally, he broke away. "Please tell me, whatever it is you're not telling me," he pleaded, whispering.

"No. I don't want to."

Maybe if I was home. Then it would be different. Charlie was only human, after all – he didn't have the super-hearing Edward's vampire family did. They'd _all _hear it! The thought had me blushing again.

He kissed me again, slowly kissing down my face, to my jaw, and then down to my neck. "Please?" he whispered again. I could feel his cool breath on my neck. I shivered.

"It's just a game."

He kissed me a third time. "And how do you play?"

I shook my head.

He placed his cool, marble hand on my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Please, Bella. I want to know." This time he turned the full, tantalizing force of his eyes on me.

My thoughts scattered completely. "What was the question?" I asked breathlessly after a minute.

He smiled. "How do you play the game?"

"You say _yellow car_ when you see a yellow car, or a truck, or a motorcycle, and then..."

"And then?" he prompted.

I looked down and spoke to our shoes. "And then everyone else takes off a piece of their clothing."

I could have sworn I felt him stiffen. But then he asked, "Do you want to play, then?"

"No!" I screamed, throwing up my hands to cover my face and blushing a deeper shade of red than Rosalie's convertible.

He chuckled. "Knowing you, I thought you _would_." He smiled when he said it, though. Then, taking my hand, he led me into the house. "We need to help Alice and Rosalie finish packing."

I exhaled in relief. That had gone better than I'd expected.

But I was still going to kill Zak Celton the next time I saw him.

- -

We finished packing our things and said our goodbyes. Edward and I were standing outside, waiting for the others.

Jasper climbed in the side door first. Alice followed, but she stopped in front of us first. Addressing Edward, she said, "Let Emmett drive." Before he could ask why, she added, "Because Bella's going to throw a fit if you don't sit next to her." And then she climbed in.

"_I'm_ riding shotgun," Rosalie announced when she came outside, opening the passenger door and sitting down.

Edward sighed, then helped me in, put up the removable step, and jumped in himself. Emmett shut our door for us, then walked around to the driver's seat and started it up.

We drove out, the chatter low, but constant. We didn't talk about much of anything; it was small-talk, boring human chatter that was twice as boring in the presence of vampires.

Well, the chatter was constant until I stopped it.

Alice and Jasper sat at the table, facing backwards. Alice was closer to me. Edward and I sat in the single chairs on the wall behind Rosalie. Edward was closer to the door; I was directly across from Alice and behind Rosalie.

I was absentmindedly watching out the window. Since Alice was leaning on the table, I was staring just above her head. On the other side of the freeway, a sports car flew past us in a bright blur of color.

Automatically I blurted out, "Yellow car." Then, realizing what I'd said, I muttered, "Crap."

Everyone immediately fell silent.

I looked down at the floor, the blood rushing to my cheeks. Then, the most amazing thing happened.

Alice bent over and quickly straightened back up. She held out a shoe ceremoniously, then dropped it in the aisle-way.

It was a challenge. Alice had accepted my invitation to play yellow car.

Next, slowly enough that I could see it clearly with my human eyes, Jasper and Edward both took off one of their shoes.

Emmett tried to take off his shirt, but Rosalie glared at him. "Don't you dare. You're driving." But she reached down and took off one of her own shoes.

- -

Soon, I was down to my underwear, shirt, and bra. We were all about even; I was doing slightly worse only because I'd worn sandals. I didn't have socks like the others.

"Yellow car," Jasper called.

"Yellow _truck_," I corrected him, just a hint of smugness in my voice.

"Any _other_ rules you'd like to inform them of?" Emmett asked me as everyone else pulled off another article of clothing.

I thought about it, and then said, "School buses don't count."

- -

Not much later, it was down to only Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie. The next one to spot a yellow car would be the winner – they were all down to one last piece.

I'd lost first. I never even had a chance, really, as the only human playing. The embarrassing thing was that Edward had been the one to call it as I lost.

Alice lost next, and then it came down to the last three.

I closed my eyes, waiting to hear the voice of the winner. When it came, that voice was smug at having won, and directly to my right.

"Yellow car."

Rosalie had won.

- -

It wasn't long before I started feeling self-conscious. I was the only human, completely out of place among these model-like vampires.

The fact that Edward was staring at me didn't help much. I'd caught his eyes after he'd lost – now he could look at me, since he didn't have to look for yellow cars. I'd looked away quickly.

I'd seen a similar look in Jacob's eyes before, but this was _so_ much more powerful. I'd never expected to see lust like this anywhere – _especially_ not in _Edward's_ eyes.

So, while Edward kept his eyes glued on me, I kept my eyes glued on the floor.

Jasper fake-coughed.

I heard Rosalie adjust herself in her chair, probably adjusting her position to tease Emmett.

Jasper fake-coughed again.

"Jazz, it's okay," Alice whispered. Then, louder, she asked me, "Can I put my clothes back on?"

"No. We have to wait until we stop," I muttered. "That's the rules."

And since I was the only one who needed to eat, sleep, or use a bathroom – and I could do all three things right here – that could take a while.

Suddenly, Emmett jammed on the brakes and we came to a complete stop in the middle of the freeway.

I was thrown to my feet by the sudden stop. Edward jumped up and put his arms around me to keep me from hurting myself by falling into something. I closed my eyes tightly and blushed, feeling even more uncomfortable.

And the four of us in the back complained simultaneously, _"Emmett!"_

He and Rosalie just laughed.

"That doesn't _count_, Emmett," I mumbled, sitting back down in my chair. "We have to stop somewhere."

"Luckily, we're low on gas," the driver informed us.

And after getting off at the next exit, we pulled into a gas station. As Emmett pumped the gas, the five of us hastily threw our clothes back on.

- -

"Bella, love? Are you asleep?"

"No, not entirely," I yawned. "Why?"

"They're gone. They all left."

"Why?" I asked again.

"To give us some space," Edward explained. "We could try _now_, if you'd like."

"No."

"But I _want_ you. I want you _now_." His voice dropped lower, dangerously sexy. Before I could answer, his lips found mine.

This kiss was much more forceful than normal – more like the two times I'd kissed Jacob. But with Edward's expertise behind it, it was incredibly persuasive.

It took all of my strength to keep a level head. I pushed my hands against his chest, knowing I wasn't strong enough to move him; but he reacted the way I wanted and drew back.

_"Bella,"_ he moaned.

"We already agreed, not until after we're married. But, speaking of compromises..."

"Yes?"

"I already agreed that you can buy me a new car to replace my truck once it passes on," I started. "But..."

"You're right; you _did _already agree to that. You can't tell me now that you've changed your mind." He said it hurriedly – that was almost the most frantic I'd ever heard him. It was almost funny, except that I could nearly see the demise of my truck being plotted in his head.

"I'm not," I assured him. "I just wanted to add _one_ little requirement, if that's okay with you."

He didn't answer, waiting for me to drop the bombshell.

"It can't be yellow."

He smiled and began to chuckle. "Done."

He kissed me again, briefly, and began to hum my lullaby. I fell asleep in his arms, the color yellow mysteriously absent from my dreams.

– Kuramastrass –


End file.
